MY LIVING JOURNEY
Ever wonder what is your most under-rated superpower?
HEART + MIND + BODY.
Society focuses a lot on the mind —which is absolutely not wrong— however, I feel there is not enough emphasis on the heart probably because it is so often associated with factors deemed as “negative” e.g. Vulnerability, Emotions, Personal, Fear. Yet frankly, are those really bad? Or was it a form of avoidance at your poor management skill?
What would the society and mankind become if we lack the aforementioned factors in our species? [ ANSWER: Triple Cs — Cold, Closed, and Cruel; the world will become that and be destroyed.] So I specifically include ’Heart’ here, as (y)our first superpower. Why so? Because the heart, of all living things, work on the same foundation, it is the driver of all possibilities. The mind/brains work as an elevation atop the foundational level. And, everything else is built upon and within the body — our best wonder machine designed by nature.
Mankind is a species with an evolved brain for many reasons, so understandably, we often get too much in our heads. Hence, in this space, I will open up my personal journeys with a medley of stories about the glory and downfall of my mind and body, sometimes a wavered heart, that changed my life for better or for worse. I share them because I see a value/reasoning/point made or a good reference for further/deeper considerations. Regardless if you are just purely curious, or on your own journey(s), I would like to invite you to join me in holding back (y)our hastened foot steps and explore the conscious practice in seeking and figuring the key ingredients (y)our heart, mind, body and soul truly desire. Will you take my hand?
[CONTINUE READING.]
[ INTENTIONAL LIVING ]
Turning Mindlessness into Mindfulness.
Cultivating habitual integration of heart & mind into a way of life, setting intent, seeking purpose and consciously living them in every possible decisions/actions. Through efforts of self-checks and adjustments in our thoughts and behaviour as we move forward in our daily lives in alignment with the belief system and values we prioritize. The point is to always have awareness and freely question yourself the whys and hows.
“I have never been more aware and connected to my heart, mind, body and the environment than now. There is infinite beauty in this learning journey.” — Pesh.
I get it; it isn’t as simple as it sounds. Surviving, following on the convenience of the fast lane and losing count of the mindless days that pass are a lot easier than mindfully making days count via consistent efforts in building momentum of good lifestyle habits, health, values and even character. But hey, just because you fear difficulty or change does not mean you should shy away from working on the right thing that brings the most well-distributed value (across many aspects) into your life. And beyond.
Window To My Life in 7 Minutes (;
MINDFULNESS.
Welcome
To the life of an IMPERFECT HUMAN.
Thank you for being here on this journey I prefer to call Mindful Living. My whole intent is to always be mindful of the source of all possibilities —my heart— that leads to all my choices, decisions, conditions of my self; physical and mental health, the logic and reasoning behind my thoughts/actions, and the impact on my immediate surrounding and beyond.
I was this young girl, generally quiet, positive and confident by nature. Of course, life has its way to crush my self-esteem too. Time and again. The different phases of life led me to learn how I view this world today, understand why I love what I do and harness the ability to learn to love what I need to do.
While I am not an expert, everything here is my takeaway through personal experiences and what I am working on. I may not have all the answers but always open to learning. Here in my Haus, there is never a final destination. I believe our life long mission is consistent exploration and journeying onto becoming the result of progress and/or discovery.
It all begins here…
CHILDHOOD
I grew up in a conservative Chinese family, my parents work long hours and barely had time for me. I was often compared. Even more often being told to be the same as others; do the normal things; just follow and don’t question the systems; always be on the safe side of the road. I suffered from chronic constipation from as young as the age of 5. I was already friends with laxatives.
Age 7, I suffered extreme stomachache consistently every morning 5mins before I leave for school. There was no bowel movement just purely aching. Every doctor’s visit, he diagnosed it as a psychological effect from my thoughts and said I have a very strong mind for a kid my age (Haha, I swear I did not think about anything). The fact was, I did not like going to school. I did not like taking the school bus with so many noisy kids crowding around. I did not like the campus. I have no friends and did not want to make any. Every single day, all I wanted was to go home. I have almost no visual memories of that entire year except everything that made me felt sick and terrible; till today, they show up in sepia tone in my head — old, dark and fuzzy.
I love movement. Physical Education was one of my favourite subjects in school and I was always part of my class sports team. I always wanted to run, but for 2 years I failed to qualify for the school’s Track & Field team. The teacher told me I can’t run and that I should give up and do something else. My 9-year-old heart was silently broken and the rejection demoralized me. Following year, I gave it one last try with a burst of curiosity and determination to prove my self-worth and ability — and I succeeded!!! Despite the euphoria and comfort knowing I was or potentially can be ‘good enough’, my heart lost interest for the team. But I never stopped running ever since.
ADOLESCENCE
In my teens, my face had a sudden out break of blemishes. My nickname was pimple face. Though I wasn’t insecure about it at first, but my classmates started teasing me harmlessly and eventually, ugly was how I felt inside. I learnt that our words carry so much power to make or break anyone, we need to be conscious. I begged my mom multiple times to take me for facial therapies and it worked magic — though we never knew why it happened. We just accepted that an external facial cleanse was the magical answer to fixing my problem.
YOUNG ADULTHOOD
Late nights loaded with alcohol was almost a daily regime. I also realized my bowel system seems to be working more frequently due to alcohol. So I enjoyed the help without the need of regular dependency on laxatives. Soon, my face started developing acne and allergies from certain cosmetics and skincare products. I returned to seek help from external cleansing, however, my skin’s sensitivity has become a constant since then.
One day I woke up realizing a significantly slower recovery from a hangover. From an active person perspective, the dip in how my body felt and functioned was prominent enough that my gut urged me for a change — The first time I truly listened to my body. — I quit late night outs and alcohol altogether. Subsequently, heavy workload and insufficient sleep from a job I enjoyed invited another outbreak of acne on my forehead. Again, listening to my fatigue body and rebuilding boundaries, I resigned and all the stress acne healed fully within a month!
MID ADULTHOOD
Time of my life — 2015, The first major turning point. I began to focus on my body and the world in a way I never did. Naturally outdoorsy and active, I always knew my body had a purpose, …then it had more. Traveling for the outdoors became a major part of my life; from regular snowboarding to big mountain expeditions. I lived on a perfect circadian rhythm almost everyday for 5 full years and exercise 5 – 6 days a week; running minimum 5 – 10km each time usually. I was at my peak in many areas relating to my skin, body, mental/physical health, and fitness performance.
Blessing in disguise — 2020, The second drastic shift. I decided to take on new paths in many aspects of my life. Living the drastic change halfway through the year, all of a sudden, I found myself in extremely toxic relationships with: my partner; our business; and my head and heart space; with no real boundaries and work/life balance. All of these prohibited any forms of deeper sense of connection I needed. I was deeply unhappy but I thought it was only a small problem. Soon, it took a toll on me and I spiralled. Everything inside of me kicked off with a major acne outbreak that could no longer be fixed from the outside. My body is at war! My emotions were easily triggered, suffered terrible insomnia (when usually sleeping was never a problem for me anytime anywhere), amplified digestive issues like immediate/extreme bloating, SIBO, leaky gut, as well as Candida Overgrowth, and Hormonal Imbalances. It went on so bad I isolated myself for months not feeling a single bit of self-worth in my head — ‘I couldn’t even face myself in the mirror, how can I face the world’ was the thought I had everyday. It really hit me and my self-esteem at the lowest for at least 1 year as I struggled to find real help.
THE RESET JOURNEY — Late 2021, The third point of inception.
Learning to live: Slower, Deeper, Cleaner,
more Sustainable & Responsible.
1NATURAL REMEDIES & HOLISTIC WELLNESS.
Fix the root cause, not just the symptom! Mother Nature provides us all we need to heal; we just need to know where to look.
Healing my acne naturally without a drug. I understand most, if not all, conventional western medicine only treats symptoms and often, with added side effects that could do greater damage. After an immediate relapse after a 2-week course of antibiotics, and refusing what seemed to be a standard option of medications proposed by different doctors, I chose to explore alternative routes like Traditional Chinese Medicine, Acupuncture & Massage; working on mind-body health via holistic natural remedies such as, movement, seeing food as medicine, re-committing back to the best circadian cycle schedule that suits me while finding the best balance of a healthy lifestyle my body requires; and regulating my neurobiological systems through breath work and meditation, management of mental stresses and trapped emotions — basically a lot of inner work. This integrated healing approach and commitment to seeing myself as a whole being in body, mind and spirit has walked me through this struggle clearer and stronger, albeit, alone.
In my social circle, naturopathy is almost unheard of, or disregarded. Almost everyone doubted my direction in pursuance of fixing my health due to their lack of knowledge mainly, and their sense of safety normalized by conventional western medicine’s layman one-way approach. Our body on its own is a self-surviving wonder machine that works in more ways than we can fully comprehend, so I decided to take a longer healing path that will help me understand and manage the wholesomeness of us as natural beings in-depth and really work to eliminate the root(s) of the problem with the least harm.
As I write, I am on this journey to recovery for a year now, and still finding my best balance internally and out. It hasn’t hit a 100%, the best was at 80% however, my condition still fluctuates sometimes; depending on how well I manage my lifestyle choices. Despite so, looking on the brighter side of things, I find this to be a blessing as I have learnt so much about how everyone is built so differently just to function at their best possible. All the knowledge, profound wisdom and values taken away on this journey I believe will serve for the greater good. Hence, I decided to share my healing journey on-the-go.
2CLEAN & SUSTAINABLE LIVING.
The lifestyle choices we choose greatly depends on how we value our health, environment and the world; whether instantaneously or subsequently.
‘We become our environment’ this sentence speaks a million. I have gone through a whole journey and still going through a hell lot on the aspect of food. From a carnivore, to 2 years of vegetarian, to currently on a reset mode as a balanced omnivore working on food sensitivity issues. My passion/hobbies, choice of lifestyle, and eventful journeys have built up my belief system, values and a character I feel aligned to. Through all these, I have cultivated quite a few positive habits that also help better my organizational skills:
1) Make healthy, responsible meal plans (say, for 3 days) and make a point to finish all the food before next grocery trip. This ensures the food’s freshness and prevents wastage from over-buying.
2) Choose organic (if possible) and/or whole foods options.
3) Help reduce food wastes by buying overripe edibles (regardless organic or not) for immediate consumption.
4) Choose reusables over disposables (biodegradable material will NOT biodegrade in landfills).
5) Cultivate responsible recycling habit (Understand the different Mobius Loops, segment trash into their respective groups, clean them before disposing into the recycling bins to avoid contamination).
The world is always waiting for collective demand to make real change. So everyone holds equal power to do so. If we look at it clearly, the work load for a clean and sustainable life is evenly distributed amongst all stakeholders on this planet. No one bearing more or less, and everyone benefits the best from it.
3GREEN & RESPONSIBLE FASHION.
There is no one solution to all problems, but we can stop encouraging the existing to continue growing.
Fashion industry is one I love very much so I am also desperate to see and seek change. I feel it’s a matter of the angles we choose to focus and work on (first). And, there is no absolute right or wrong. Looking at the most evident and drastic consequences, it makes more sense to me to support/standby businesses based on slow fashion, circular economies and closed-loop supply chain models adhering to the ‘Reduce, Reuse, Repurpose, Recycle’ structure — mainly because it’s a more holistic approach that requires involvement of all parties to reset, rethink and restructure the entire way of life. That is rebuilding foundation, and we need everyone’s effort to make an effective change. After all, it takes 2 hands to clap.
So for me, reusing is the best. My clothes are mostly well cared for, if not, I always get them repaired. At least 50% of my wardrobe are from years ago (up to 15 years old) despite my change of style, and if you know me, basics and classics are not what I live for so I don’t really have many easy-to-match clothes. Just a ton of fun working on styling! If you are a basics kind of person, life would be so much easier! When shopping, I choose to first stop contributing demand for new production of harmful materials. So I choose to NOT buy brand new products made of polyester, nylon, and acrylic. Also, have been consciously making green(er) choices by going for high to full percentage of recycled materials or cellulose fibres, and/or ideally look for 100% organic natural fabrics (ideally without toxic treatments etc.) that is easy to grow and harvest, not take up too much land space, energy and water use and/or least waste contribution (e.g. hemp — my top favourite, cotton — must be organic, linen ). I feel the conscious effort put into finding out the materials of my potential purchase, and if possible, having an idea where it comes from, isn’t a big fuss — Think about the time/effort people generally spent on binging Netflix, commuting, gossiping, complaining, etc. — those time can be better utilized and fetch more valuable knowledge.
The Beauty of Mindful Living:
1Clarity.
The result of removing yourself from an equation that no longer serves positively. Heal; detox; declutter; the body, the mind, the trapped emotions and the barriers. Many things, if not everything, will become so clear in your eyes, heart and mind. Such as priorities, directions, needs and wants. I may even say, my soul feels more intuitively.
2Power of choice.
Always a matter of choice — and being conscious about its availability in any given situation. The power of adjusting your thoughts, emotions, response, breath, and pace will impact outcome, growth and involved parties. I learnt to always take a step back and look again, and again, and again.
3Deeper connections & appreciation.
Nurturing and safeguarding self-love and awareness from inside out. Understanding how you keep your peace and pace is like making your way to your safe house. The connection built with yourself and the environment really extends and deepens the appreciation for the way of life.
4Direction of passions, purposes, values.
Knowing your fundamental values as a person. Discover what truly makes you who you are and how your life is fulfilled. Work on strong foundations. Give time to your soulful passions. Go figure.
5Learning & embracing change.
We are surrounded by some form of cultures and systems. Understanding independently and in-depthly on what works (for you) sustainably, positively, and what do not is key. Change begins with a major mindset shift, how you view this world and yourself, how you act and what priorities you set, make a big difference. As someone who is highly adaptive and flowing, this aspect works smoothly and deeply with me.
Note to you:
I am still considering what would be the best ways to share the progress of my journey as I move along. If you have any suggestions, questions or journey(s) you would like to ask/share/discuss/talk about, drop a comment below. Meanwhile, remember to love yourself x
Stay true and mindful,
